圣誕節英文小品

顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了

服務員：別擔心，先生，不是很燙!

A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!

B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!

一個服務員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你瘋了嗎?”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!”

“什么?”服務員說，“你想讓它再掉地上?”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak?

(What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again?

服務員：茶或咖啡?先生。

第一個顧客：我要茶

第二個顧客：我也是茶??杯子要干凈的!

服務員：兩杯茶，哪個要干凈的杯子?

B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?

A:I'll have tea.

C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits returns)

B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

創新句子：我堅持用干凈杯子喝茶。

服務員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么?

看起來象是在仰泳，

A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?

Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...

服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅!

別擔心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會干掉它。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

服務員，我湯里有只蒼蠅!

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.

服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅!

別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.

服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅!

我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!

服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅!

對不起，先生，我弄走那三個時忘了這個。

A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

服務員，湯里有只死蒼蠅!

是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!

C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

英語小品

話劇前半部分是荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本

(Introduction)： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹(上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀)：

Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! (面對觀眾)

I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?

阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~

(作殺狀)太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!(二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才!這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三：Yes.Action II(《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂)荊軻Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?

荊軻Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荊軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荊軻: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? (贏一個人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么?)李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.

荊軻再次大笑太子丹上(抱拳)：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?